More to be grateful for

Today I'm thinking about where I've been and where I am, and thinking that I have not thanked myself enough for overcoming so many things. I tend to finish something and move right on to the next thing. These days I'm feeling 'stuck', so in order to get out of that, I need to think differently.

I'm in deep gratitude for:

My ability to stand up and set the boundaries with my oldest in a healthy way and not waver when she lashed back. Today she is moving forward with her life, with two jobs, living with friends and engaging life. She wasn't doing that before. I truly believe in my heart had I not been able to stand up and articulate my boundaries and stick to them, she would not be doing so well today. I'm proud of me for doing that, and I'm proud of her for stepping up for herself.

My endless capacity for love and forgiveness. I have learned that I really do have the ability to love through many things others would cut off and walk away from. The ability to show love is mutually exclusive from what others might do to hurt you. You can still love and care even though you have been treated unfairly. Nelson Mandela I think was the first person to show me that in a very real and profound way, and I have now learned how he could do that. It is a beautiful thing. I cannot describe it in words. It doesn't mean I stop having boundaries or sticking to them. It means I am able to understand the other side and still allow the love to flow through me along with the other emotions I may feel at the time. Sometimes it can get confusing when there are multiple conflicting emotions, but that love is always a thread. Perhaps the core of that is the ability to love myself and remind myself that whatever happens, I will love myself forever, and will never let myself go. Those who 'get' this one can understand what I am trying to articulate.

I am thankful I am able to see many sides of everything, and need to get to the root of everything to understand it truly. This helps me not take things as personally as I might, or identify how I might be contributing to the situation, so I can be better.

I am thankful that I have been able to see myself and make adjustments to create a better me. I am able to see when my behavior doesn't serve me well, and I can change that to make it better. And that feels so empowering.

I am sooo thankful for University of Redlands MAM program and all the wonderful people I went to school with, some of which have become great friends for life. That program truly changed my life and gave me so much empowerment to recognize and change what I want to create the me I am destined to be.