More to be grateful for

Today I'm thinking about where I've been and where I am, and thinking that I have not thanked myself enough for overcoming so many things. I tend to finish something and move right on to the next thing. These days I'm feeling 'stuck', so in order to get out of that, I need to think differently.

I'm in deep gratitude for:

My ability to stand up and set the boundaries with my oldest in a healthy way and not waver when she lashed back. Today she is moving forward with her life, with two jobs, living with friends and engaging life. She wasn't doing that before. I truly believe in my heart had I not been able to stand up and articulate my boundaries and stick to them, she would not be doing so well today. I'm proud of me for doing that, and I'm proud of her for stepping up for herself.

My endless capacity for love and forgiveness. I have learned that I really do have the ability to love through many things others would cut off and walk away from. The ability to show love is mutually exclusive from what others might do to hurt you. You can still love and care even though you have been treated unfairly. Nelson Mandela I think was the first person to show me that in a very real and profound way, and I have now learned how he could do that. It is a beautiful thing. I cannot describe it in words. It doesn't mean I stop having boundaries or sticking to them. It means I am able to understand the other side and still allow the love to flow through me along with the other emotions I may feel at the time. Sometimes it can get confusing when there are multiple conflicting emotions, but that love is always a thread. Perhaps the core of that is the ability to love myself and remind myself that whatever happens, I will love myself forever, and will never let myself go. Those who 'get' this one can understand what I am trying to articulate.

I am thankful I am able to see many sides of everything, and need to get to the root of everything to understand it truly. This helps me not take things as personally as I might, or identify how I might be contributing to the situation, so I can be better.

I am thankful that I have been able to see myself and make adjustments to create a better me. I am able to see when my behavior doesn't serve me well, and I can change that to make it better. And that feels so empowering.

I am sooo thankful for University of Redlands MAM program and all the wonderful people I went to school with, some of which have become great friends for life. That program truly changed my life and gave me so much empowerment to recognize and change what I want to create the me I am destined to be.

Today

Five things today:

The wonderful friends I have in my life who drop their things to be there for me. I had four friends who did just that last night and I just am incredibly grateful for them. What a different life it is for me than 5 years ago - when I had no friends and dealt with everything on my own. So incredibly thankful :)

The fabulous watermelon martini's at the Yardhouse, yum! They are dangerous ;)

My beautiful daughter Ashley, she's so much like me yet has her own self. She is so perceptive!

David E. Talbert's "What my Husband Doesn't know" play - I really enjoyed it last weekend :)

This random musician I met in LA last weekend, and his candid perceptions shared with me about how I am my own woman and how rare that is. Totally unexpected, but very nice to hear :)

Today's 5

1. Rob Thomas, your song 'My, My, My' is amazing. I love it - and am so thankful you wrote it :)
   
2. Musiq Soulchild, your song 'Don't change' is so beautiful. I am creating a love like that. Gorgeous - very thankful :)
   
3. I'm excited I have so many ideas going on in my head of stuff to do. The hard part is deciding what to do first!! Very thankful for that ;)
   
4. Arielle has a job, and is living with roomates now. Thankful she is moving forward, and encouraging her to continue to grow and finish the things she needs to do.
   
5. Creation is pretty awesome. I am very thankful we have the ability to create the life we want to live. In particular, I'm starting off with the Valley's Biggest Loser challenge starting in September and am getting my team together to help me create my outside to match my view of me I have in my head :)
   

My entry in the Great Giveaway...

Our family reunions have always been eclectic and fun. A must for these reunions was a giant potluck where all the adults in the family would bring their favorite dishes. As a child, it was so fun to try each and every one of these wonderful contributions. My fondest memory, however, was one year in which all my great aunts, uncles, grandmother, grandfather and many adult cousins come together and created a cookbook to share all this great food passed throughout the family through the years. Peppered through the book were stories of how recipes came to be, funny contributions by people in the family who didn't know how to cook, and most of all the recipes that have stood the test of time within my family. That year, I went around to all the authors of this book and asked them to autograph it. I’ll never forget the stories each one of them shared as they signed my book and laughed together. Today, there is one brother still left out of the original 9. But I still feel like they are all here every time I take out the cookbook and make a favorite dish.

Heather Gray (40) :)

Back again (finally)

Boy it's hard for me to keep this going regularly! I'm back again determined to get this in - and to make this more of a habit!

1. The priviledge to watch the beautiful and talented Amanda Seyfried as a singer and an actor. I loved her in "Mama Mia" and she was good in "Dear John" too. She to me is like a young Julia Roberts. She makes me feel inspired that a real girl can do anything because to me, she just seems like an average girl. She lights up the screen when she is performing and it looks like it's her shining through.
2. The fact that Oprah is one of the Minerva winners this year. I am always inspired when I listen to one of her soul series podcasts. I really feel uplifted from her encouragement.
3. Todd F. He's been bugging me to get off my butt and do something with my Masters... And I am formulating a plan now - today. Not just a "I'd like to do..." again. A real plan!
4. My daughter's tremendous emotional awareness and honesty she takes with her every day. I am reminded of it today when I reread what she wrote to me for Mother's day. She is so much like me I have to laugh sometimes - she's pretty headstrong too, like her mother.. lol
5. I have to say I surprised myself today. I got a lot accomplished today and I am in gratitude of myself for pushing through the "I cant's" to move ahead.

Happy Friday ;)

Such a beautiful day this morning, allthough it was freezing when I got up at 6am. It's sooooo cold that early in the morning! So I'm starting this early as to ensure I capture the items I have for today :) I might just crash after work today because I'm exhausted with the 6am days!

1. How amazing the talent is within Mark Wahlberg. He really has surprised me over the years with the different roles. I watched "The Lovely Bones" last night and thought he did a great job. Not to mention how cute he is ;)
   
2. The girl that gets ready in the morning at my work gym - every day she runs through the same routine to get herself ready. I watch her absentmindedly as I get ready and think about her routine. Her simple steps every day without fail inspire me to find a way to change it up for her. How I love to shake things up sometimes - even in a little way like that. Hehe :) Hey, she should enjoy getting out of the box sometimes - it'll help her adapt :)
   
3. OK I have to get this out of the way. I am very grateful computers came into this world, and in particular my world in 1982. I still love computers today and never grow tired of the possibilities that the IT world has available. Each and every day I am thankful that I know what I love to do and am able to do it for a living. I know many other people still are trying to figure it out.
   
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What about today!

Oh Boy today I'm in a funky mood so I don't know how many things I'll write. But I promised myself 5 so lets get going!

1. I love online banking. It makes it so easy to check whats going on without any interaction with a person. The best part - IT'S FREE!!
   
2. Claudia at the Gas Company was so helpful today - she's great and efficient. She got things going for me 4 days earlier than they are supposed to. Yay Claudia!
   
3. Pat was great today, promptly calling me back and giving me the information I needed. VERY thankful, as I know he is super busy!
   
4. John is wonderful and keeps us kosher. He really looks out for us and I appreciate it with all he has going on.
   
5. I was honored yesterday for some help I gave to the Sales team with their website. I thought it was a very kind gesture for them to give me a silver award. Yay!
   
6. For believing in me - ya I said it ME. I've been feeling inadequate lately but this week I have pushed through that and I have discovered things others have missed and completed things much faster than I expected. GO ME!